This entire list has been about doing things they don’t like in order to make a narcissist miserable. Negative attention means that they have power over you, so instead of that, try to give them the silent treatment. Break them. They can suck the life out of us, but they may still be family members or co-workers that we have to be around. You need to physically be apart from them. Talk about how sad they made you or how unhappy you are in general. Why Trying to Make a Narcissist You Live with miserable is a Bad Idea? Make them feel sad because they just lost the most precious … Let’s say you’ve managed to cut ties with your narcissist ex. They use it to gain entry to your deepest emotions. ​However, what do you believe would happen if you showed independence? Empathizing with the narcissist. Believe me when I tell you that even if it’s your loved one, they can still be a malignant narcissist. So you are finally divorced from your narcissist, and no longer do you have to endure the day-to-day abuse, the passive aggressive manipulation, or his constant attempts to make you look like the bad person.Or do you? They depend on constant approval to maintain their sense of intrinsic worth. How to make a narcissist miserable, you might ask? But it ALWAYS backfires and makes things worse and makes her more upset and angry with me. If the object of your love has a number of those characteristics, then you probably love a narcissist. Even if they do become extremely emotional, just know that it’s all an act. When they see their victim going back to his feet, they usually try to destabilize him through further abuse. What kind of behaviour do you think this person would exhibit towards others? Confront them about it, be upfront and tell them that you will leave if they refuse. They probably believe that you shouldn’t even think about being with someone else and expect complete loyalty from you. A narcissist will sometimes start a fight to just revel in the reaction they get out of you. Empaths are prone to react when someone is feeling bad, so you try to make things better and console them. Of course it’s normal to feel a desire for revenge after going through emotional abuse or betrayal but it’s important to consider if it’s worth the effort. Not only are you making sure that you’re moving on from them and letting go of their manipulative behavior, but you’re also making them miserable. Don’t listen to their manipulation tactics, but rather show them that they can’t play you like that. That’s why the best answer to how to make a narcissist miserable is to fight emotion with facts. It’s what made him the way he is. The first time you experience this, you might be scared, especially if you’re an empath. Don’t make them a priority in your life. Maybe they heard that your parent died and they text you just to let you know that they’re sending their condolences. You want to inflict the highest possible pain on this human being. If they like him maybe she is wrong to think he is such a terrible person. Or if somebody that they respect gets to see some side of them that they don’t want seen, then that’s a really huge way to make a narcissist panic. You were wondering just how to make a narcissist miserable? Do you know how to make a narcissist PANIC? [Read: 13 ways you can manipulate a narcissist and hurt them] #5 Treat them how they treat you. The article explains difficulties if you are married to a narcissist or have a narcissistic ex-wife. You are not a damsel in distress! Or they try to make the victim see where they went wrong. And narcissism is very hard to change. Narcissists Feel Great–They make Others Feel Miserable Getting too close to a narcissist, particularly if you marry one or are one of his/her children, can cause you to become ill—psychologically, emotionally or physically. The best solution is to always make yourself a priority and see what fits you. On the other hand mentally sick people always try to direct their emotional turmoil to others, especially those who are close to them. The Ultimate Guide to Making a Relationship With a Narcissist Work (Book), how to stop a narcissist from ruining your self-esteem, How to Make a Narcissist Emotionally Dependent On You, How to Keep a Narcissist Interested in you, How to Prevent a Narcissist From Ruining Your Self-esteem, Why do Narcissists Need so Much Attention, How to Deal with an Emotionally Abusive Narcissist, Why do we Obsess over People who don’t want us, The Ultimate Guide to Making a Relationship With a Narcissist Work (Book). They won’t be just mad and angry at your rejection, but they’ll be downright confused. Sometimes when I’m coaching people who live with or broke up with an abusive narcissist, they ask me what they can do to inflict the highest possible pain on the abusive narcissist. You can’t let them see you falter or you will fall victim to their nonsense again. Stick with what you know and don’t let them convince you otherwise. When you tell them no and say why, their mind can’t comprehend it. This might be the first time that you’re going to sort of use manipulation. A second group of participants was given three ounces of the mildly bitter drink. This entire conversation will be extremely uncomfortable and confusing for them. That’s why narcissists manipulate their victims to believe that no one wants to be their friend, in order to isolate them, which turns you into the narcissist’s slave. When you first met this narcissist, what was your first impression? Pointer #5 – Take A Sincere Stab At Trying To Make Your Ex Crazy Jealous. In this article I’m not going to teach you the methods of torture you can use against a narcissist because it’s the worst way to deal with an abusive narcissist you live with. More than ever, women are encountering these manipulators who only look for things that benefit their agenda. So humane that they feel a need to trash everyone around them. A part of you will always love him. So when they’re unable to get outward adulation, they can collapse from within. It’s no secret that most narcissists revel in admiration and validation (except for ‘closet narcissists’). Just because he is your ex, doesn't mean his behavior ever stops. NPD doesn’t choose its victims. As I said, abusive narcissists usually direct their emotional turmoil to others, especially those they live with. If you do become mad at them, they either turn to physical violence or love bombing. Just imagine the satisfaction of knowing that your lack of response to their phone calls, messages, and everything else is enough to make them go crazy. Stop making them believe that you are the victim who needs saving. Always. How to make a narcissist miserable can be quite a tough question to answer, but then you look into their personality and everything becomes so obvious. It’s very successful if you’ve been wondering how to make a narcissist miserable. In their eyes, you are the only problem and someone who has no reason to feel like that. After the idealisation phase, which the new relationship is in, devaluation starts, which is when the narcissist starts to tear down your confidence and makes you miserable. Is it the right approach to try to make an abusive narcissist you live with miserable? That is too stressful for most of the people dealing with a narcissist. Every time they don’t respect your boundaries or limits, they need to be held accountable for it. If there’s anything narcissists love, it’s to be in charge and be in control. To control you (and they must do so because of their insecurity), your spouse will come up with impossible ways to make you feel unworthy, drain your energy and zest for life, and destroy your ability to see the light at the end of the tunnel. This will successfully make the narcissist miserable. You are being true to yourself with this one while also answering the question of how to make a narcissist miserable. However, if your ex was a narcissist, you might be thinking that you were the problem. Even if you do manage to make an abusive narcissist suffer, their suffering would negatively affect you as well. This condition was a control. If you have to deal with a narcissist, don’t let them make … 2. It also makes narcissist feel more in control because once the victim is destabilized; he/she is likely to make many mistakes. Finally The Ex on May 01, 2019: Oh my god this makes so much sense. A narcissist will always need an insecure, codependent girl. Narcissists don’t like playing by the rules, but they want everyone else to follow theirs. Misery will flood them like a tidal wave. They use these sentences filled with grandiosity that you might even think that you’re listening to an audiobook. You need to make them as miserable as they made you! Don’t just tell them no just to let them do whatever they want after pressuring you. If they’re flying monkeys, find out who they really are. Sum Up. This was expected to make the participant feel like their partner did not like them. A jealous person is someone who feels that others are advancing in life leaving him behind. Your main goal is to destroy a Narcissist and stop their narcissistic abuse. The question of how to make a narcissist miserable has become quite a common one. They really believe they are doing the right thing, They are just trying to help and only confusing the victim more. This stems from a childhood trauma that they endured. This is the best way to play with their heads. What are you supposed to do when these toxic people simply demand everything from you? If the narcissist in your life sees that he or she can’t control you then you are one step closer to getting rid of them. Be independent! Here are some facts about them: People’s behaviour and attitude towards others is the product of what they are feeling inside and their overal mental health state. And you take no pleasure in the fact that he is miserable because you have ended the relationship. This will be the most obvious red flag when you first meet them. A narcissist is so used to playing mind games with people that their actual personality is buried very deep down. Don’t worry! Your best plan of action is to disengage yourself from that relationship as quickly as you can. But that’s not true. Ha. Is this considered to be a lack of empathy toward the narcissist? That’s why my suggestion is to have a spontaneous change of plans, as they won’t be able to be in control. They want to get something from you. Instead of focusing on complimenting them, focus on their vulnerabilities and flaws without insulting them directly. Whatever they ask you, it’s not that they want to seek answers from you. The narcissist in your life will feel extremely frustrated and their mind will go haywire. This can last up to several months, depending on his or her indiscretions and whether they have another source of supply. If you want to make a narcissist feel bad, then dish them a taste of their own medicine. How dare you refuse them something? They don’t know how to properly express their own emotions, so yours just might make them malfunction. Put your foot down when they want something, narrate the entire conversation, and make sure that they know you’re the one in control. Copyright © 2021 Think aloud | Bamboo on Trellis Framework by Mediavine, How To Make An Introvert Miss You? Make your own decisions, take yourself out on dates, be your own supplier of compliments. The hard part for me will be to not react. So, if you want to torture, torment, and control a narcissist, here’s what you do.. 1. Some people think that if they would make a narcissist experience the pain they gives others, maybe they would learn a lesson, develop empathy and change. succumb to love-bombing However, they, themselves, won’t fulfill those expectations. Some examples of consequences can be not answering their phone calls or messages, blocking them on your social media, or not doing things for them anymore. Let’s round it up and learn how we can always feel special… and not turn into a narcissist. By continuing to browse the site you consent to the use of cookies. Pain is nothing new to an abusive narcissist. Just because you’ve gone through a lot and want to show them that they can’t play games with you anymore, it doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person. See, they keep us down in life because they care about us. Because the first thing abusive narcissists usually attack in the victim is self-confidence, most victims who try to fight back usually do it in an emotional way showing loss of control over the situation. That, ultimately, is the best way to hurt a narcissist – by removing all traces of their abuse from you, by being the kind of person they simply cannot be. Break the rules and do everything they don’t like. Narcissists are skilled abusers. The narcissist in your life will become angry and all hell might break loose. Well, in that case, my dear, you have come to the right place! There are weaknesses you can target without ever having to question your own morals. Even after the relationship is over, it can be difficult to acknowledge a narcissistic partner and their toxic baggage. The best way to deal with abusive narcissists is to understand them first. This is your secret to everything. Making a narcissist miserable can take a huge toll on your health (mental as much as physical) so make sure you’re aware of that.   Unfortunately, the life of a narcissist’s spouse is bound to be a miserable one. That’s why you need to stop making them your priority. Know in advance that the outcome will not be them agreeing to your conditions. It also makes narcissist feel more in control because once the victim is destabilized; he/she is likely to make many mistakes. How to make a Narcissist miserable A person with a narcissistic personality disorder is impossible to work with and there are plenty of ways to avoid becoming victim to … We all get sad, depressed or even a little jealous or insecure sometimes. Do you wish to be the mastermind when dealing with narcissists? I don't know if I can do it! The outcome you’re looking for is their pure misery that will come out of this conversation. Let’s be honest, in what situation does the silent treatment not work? Well, here’s your answer. The only reason why they’re angry is that they don’t believe that they can do anything wrong. They hoard blackmail inside themselves ready to use it at … The fastest way to win back a narcissist after devaluation is to ignore them, too. In some of my previous articles, I said that narcissists become the way they are after going through a painful experience especially in childhood, like being abused by parents. They talk with so much emotion that it’s hard to differentiate facts from fiction. (To learn the seven-step morning ritual that will make you happy all day, click here.) By Lindsey for DivorcedMoms.com. Whenever you try and talk about your emotions, their only response is telling you that you’re crazy. What will happen if you show them that you enjoy doing all the things they don’t like? So if you really want to hurt a narcissist, you need to prove to him that he has failed to make you miserable. They will always invalidate your emotions and because of that, making a narcissist miserable is the easiest task of them all. Narcissists revel in attention, validation, and acknowledgment, so what happens when they don’t get that? Look as physically attractive as possible, at all times. Don’t waste time on them. Another way a narcissist would bring you down is to ask questions that they think you wouldn’t know the answers to, thus showing they’re smarter than you. Even if you do manage to make an abusive narcissist suffer, their suffering would negatively affect you as well. They become miserable. So, others sooner or later, start to avoid them. They will seriously question themselves and whether they want to be part of your life after that. Go out with them to a place where you can play competitive games, succeed at something in your workplace, or do anything that comes to mind. If you have a certain day in the week where you meet up or religiously do the same thing, cancel those plans. Boundaries are always a great way of keeping a relationship healthy and fulfilling. A narcissist will pull out all the stops just to accomplish what they set their mind to. Gaslighting is a manipulative technique employed by the narcissist to make you lose track of how they are causing you pain. A narcissist makes everything seem so extravagant that you might lose yourself. Establish boundaries for yourself and follow through with them. They often make you feel small to inflate their own egos. The important part about it is to be extremely confident when talking about these things. You’re someone who encountered a narcissistic person and has made it out safe and sound. A narcissist cannot be reasoned with and they will go to any lengths to get what they want. Sometimes, the narcissist is your co-worker and you can’t use the usual tactics on them. When you’re going out with your friends, put on the clothes they hate and wear all the make-up you want. Narcissistic personality disorder makes a person absolutely unable to take any type of public humiliation. They hate to see their victim calm, confident and happy because it would make him/her stronger. They are a narcissist! (It is!) And what if the narcissist is a family member? Don’t do that. Go out with your other friends more, start new hobbies that will keep you away from them as much as possible. I know that sometimes it’s not easy to let go of a loved one, even if they are narcissistic. Sometimes we can’t walk away from the narcissist in our life even though we try. Is it really a smart move to ask about how to make a narcissist miserable? What happens if we want to take it one step further? If you show independence in the face of a narcissist who believed they could control you, they will automatically become miserable. All you have to do is talk openly about your emotions, especially if they try to undermine them or your experiences. The narcissist in your life will see this as the ultimate defeat because it is a sort of public humiliation. If you really want to throw a narcissist into panic mode, let them think that they’re going to be exposed or actually expose them. Don’t fall for it. The first time you experience this, you might be scared, especially if you’re an empath. In these situations, it’s very much necessary to have consequences for their actions. If you were in a group setting, it would have been obvious how badly they take defeat. This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience. Just make sure to keep your empathy as it is your best weapon. In order to make sure you turn a blind eye, they dole out the worst thing possible to someone in love – utter disregard. The best and only solution to dealing with this kind of person and remaining or becoming happy in your life is to take back your power and choose to create the life you really want, with or without the narcissist – most likely, without. Well, you wanted to know how to make a narcissist miserable, and this will help you out. I know that this might be a very energy-consuming activity, but know that it will make them miserable. Spontaneous behavior can make them go feral. Your newfound self-worth is telling you that you shouldn’t let this slide. Put your attention on other things. The things that make a narcissist miserable have nothing to do with emotional abuse. Does it bring any positive effects in the long run? Of course, that doesn’t mean that you want to physically harm them, but something inside you is screaming to give them a taste of their own medicine. This only tells the narcissist that he has succeeded in destabilizing them. 1 – Lack Of Acknowledgment. Even when he said he forgave you, he’d bring up something from so long ago. Be straightforward. You fight with yourself on a daily basis and you’re still trying to figure out how to free yourself from the hold they have on you. Many narcissists tend to turn to physical abuse when they don’t get what they want. After a while of poking into their vulnerability and their authentic emotions, they will become extremely agitated. This Is How You Make Your Narcissist Feel Guilt and Shame # 1 – Appeal To Their Humanity (Ha. If you’re specifically asking about how to make a narcissist miserable, this one always works like a charm. Even if it’s your best friend, you still need boundaries. It’s very hard for them to be emotionally connected to something or someone. If you want to cut off a narcissist, you need to “starve” them of narcissistic supply. You need to prove to him that you feel good about yourself and that you see your worth, even though he never saw it. Your self-confidence can’t waver. ​What you’re going to do is use tactics that will not only help you move on from them, but also make them question everything they have done in their life. There is no doubt that the narcissist in your life has made you miserable. Their ego can’t handle having someone close who is better than them at anything. You will see that the change in their everyday routine won’t be welcomed. They thrive on your codependence. Narcissists can drain your energy, make you feel uncomfortable, and manage to focus all the attention on themselves. They are going to try to manipulate the situation and make you as miserable as they can with the hope that you will just give up and give them everything they want. Okay, this might sound confusing, as why would you want to know about the emotions of someone you’re trying to get away from? Now what if someone is jealous, insecure and ashamed of whom he is? If you are running on a strict schedule with this narcissist, try and mess up their plans. Once he accomplishes this, his mission has been successful. Deny them that. Narcissists just love to gaslight their victims. But a mentally stable person will never try to make people who are not responsible for his problems unhappy just because he is depressed, insecure or jealous. It makes them miserable because they don’t know what they’re actually feeling. Or what, if anything, can ever even make that possible? Gaslighting. If you were wondering how to make a narcissist miserable, this is your best bet. Can you consider yourself a good human being if you do that? But then again, your empathy is a big reason why the narcissist targeted you. Below are 7 best tips on how to starve a narcissist… A narcissist will never commit to one person, one job, or one location. Understanding how to fight the gaslighting of a narcissist and narcissist tactics to get you back are the most important things to educate yourself on. (See: how to stop a narcissist from ruining your self-esteem). Alright, we’ve learned a lot. Let me tell you right away that you can make a narcissist miserable without ever being considered a bad person. Be an authority figure. You should always be more important to yourself. Don’t hold on to the hope that they will change their ways at some point. Change the way you cook something or do something different with your appearance and wait for their reaction. You might have to deal with their explosiveness, but it’s worth it. I guess the last thing everybody wants is to wake up one day and realize that they have been narcissists without knowing. They will get so frustrated and be prepared to even see them throw a tantrum. Have you ever paid close attention to how narcissists talk? I know it may be harder especially when you are dependent on them but it’s worth any price. They will get so frustrated and be prepared to even see them throw a tantrum. And this is exactly how abusive narcissists work. They will be miserable, but you truly need to make yourself your biggest priority. Be that rebel yourself! That this really works wonders for you simply unable to get outward,! Quite a common one complete loyalty from you browse the site you consent to the hope they... To achieve and it will become angry and all hell might break loose your other friends,. Complimenting them, focus on their vulnerabilities and flaws without insulting them directly his mission has been successful can. They call you and tell you that you ’ re one of those empaths who puts... Like them yourself from that relationship as quickly as you can make life miserable to hurt a narcissist you! 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